ATTITUDE ALIGNMENT

The Art of Getting What You Want

Introduction

You Get What You Expect

Much of what we have been taught is that we should expect things to go wrong instead of going right: it's Murphy's Law. This and every expectation like it becomes an attitudinal vibration. In fact, all communication begins with a thought and energetically vibrates out from the attitude, which is formed from the thought. The attitudes we carry actually influence and determine our experience with a person or an event. If you expect hardship, you? ll tend to experience more of it.
We have been taught that there are people who will never give us what we want and therefore, we should resist, stick-up our dukes and fight back. This mindset, that it's all got to be hard somehow, becomes an attitudinal vibration. Most people would agree that they feel they are functioning more from a state of resistance to those people who they feel "bad vibes" from.
When adversity arrives, we may have been taught to give up, accept our fate, avoid, hide, quit and settle for less than what we really want. This state of powerlessness, becomes an attitudinal vibration.
Whether we are fighting back at the world or collapsing and quitting; both are states of powerlessness and have an energy component that is speaking volumes in all of our relationships and how we are able to move through the conditions and circumstances of our lives.
Much of what we have been taught creates in us a most energetically depleting Catch-22, one of which you will begin to alter immediately as you begin to take in the knowledge that I have been getting my mind around, making sense of, for much of my life-time.
There are some old, worn out attitudes that you will need to make new and informed decisions about. To really get what you want, there will be some areas of your life that you will need to address, but with the gentle information this book has to offer you, you will begin to experience dramatic changes in all of your relationships and experiences in this not so random world. I'm talking about everything from your most intimate relationships, to your work relationships, to your children, relatives, in-laws, time, effort, professional advancement, remuneration, prosperity, health, overall peace of mind, happiness and longevity.

That's Right, It IS All About Getting What You Want!
Within each and everyone of us there is a deep unresolved desire to just have what we want when we want it! There is, I've said it and you know it. We've treated this subject as if it were some kind of demeaning, narcissistic thing.
Wanting, feeling and knowing are things we were born with and yet we've been taught that to feel what we feel, want what we want and know what we know, is somehow bad or wrong. One woman friend of mine once remarked that what we want is not relevant, that life is all about what God wants and if God doesn't want it then it doesn't matter how hard we try, it isn't going to happen. She had just gone through an intense period in her life, and what she didn't realize - admit to - is that everything that she had specifically prayed about in the previous few weeks had just come through into every single situation and there were about five things she had just prayed and asked for! She did in fact get everything she wanted and more!
Ask, and it shall be given!
Wanting life to be enjoyable is not only normal, it's natural not to mention that it is most likely the basic, fundamental element of our God-given seed of greatness. The seed that we were born into has within it everything necessary to have a life that can be all that it can be. It is not leaving us alone and it will continue to pull at us until we learn to surrender into it and give ourselves to learn the art of getting what we want.
We all have a basic, fundamental innate desires that say that if we could just have whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it - in relationships, money, time, health and overall enjoyment of our lives - then life would be grand!
Well, there's nothing wrong with wanting a Grand Life.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and treated with respect and love in return.
There's nothing wrong with wanting people to just get along.
There's nothing wrong with wanting more money, time and enjoyable activities in our lives.
And yet, we all carry one attitude or another that defeats our ever being able to experience these desires. We make it all wrong somehow, instead of honoring desire, we try to force our truest desires down as if they are not worthy or viable. When we do this to ourselves or to what others are having as their experience, we send out attitudinal energy that literally drives away our ability to ever pull those things listed above, as our experience and ongoing reality.
It is, and has always been, our desire to figure out the Art of Getting What We Want. Now, through the deliberate and intentional use of the energy of our attitudes we will apply what really works in doing just that: get more of what you want and less of what you don't want for yourself and your loved ones and, yes, even your friends.

When we make ourselves wrong for wanting what we want, we have an attitude that has a certain negative vibration to it. As that energy connects out in our worlds, it literally is like having a neon light on our foreheads that says, "Don't ever give me what I want, because what I want can not possibly be a good thing." Then we head off into relationships and while our words are asking for help, or assistance, or, what we want, or vibes are saying to the people, "Smack me!" And so, people respond energetically to your vibes and then they resist, reject or smack you!
The first step in all of this is to get ready to get in touch with all of your attitudes. It's not spiritual or holy to be poor, beat up, used and abused. In learning how to find your attitude and change it, you will instantly begin to experience more, humane success in all areas of your life.
If you want more love, we'll work on that attitudinal vibe. If you want more time, we'll work on that attitudinal vibe. If you want more recognition, improved health, money; whatever is not working in your life, we will work on throughout the chapters of this book. For it is ALL about our decisions, our relationships and how we communicate with our world and the people in our worlds.
What we desire is really only a thought, a perception, a decision away from us at this very moment; we just didn't know it nor have we been taught that it's OK to access. In fact, it's necessary to learn how to access our innate, God-given personal power if we are ever to truly become living examples of what humanity can be. What a concept: to access our innate abilities to engage in joy-filled, harmonious and peaceful lives.

Makin' Magic
I grew up in a very small farming community, and so the elementary, junior high and high school were all in the same building. When I was in high school, despite all of my problems with my parents, I began to notice that, when I got off the bus in the mornings to head into the school house, all of the little children would swarm me and want to hold my hand as we all walked toward the school together.
I wondered why all the children loved me so. I couldn't figure it out, so I decided that I just had some kind of special magic that the other kids my age didn't seem to have, and I left it at that and just enjoyed my moments of being adored by the little ones!
In the early years of my teaching career, I began to use my magic with all the kids in my classroom. I even told them that my desk had magic, because every time they would come up to my desk to ask me a question, I knew that if I just waited a few seconds they would figure out the answers for themselves. I called that magic. So, we just made a game of it, and when they were feeling insecure about getting the right answer, they would just walk up to my desk, and we would all wait to see what magical answer came to them next!

Later, I would discover that this magic I had was really about what happens energetically when you remove a negative label on a child (or anyone for that matter) and tell them that you are holding a high vision of them. This appears to be magic but in reality, it is what happens energetically when a decision about false evidence appearing real, is changed in favor of new and more positive evidence. It's all in how you put a spin on an explanation to an event or an outcome. It's all in the expectation. Expectation done with high regard, respect, honoring, lightly and lovingly somehow changes everything for the better, just like magic!
Magic is just really about being given permission to really access personal power by listening to and acting on our own intuition.

My Expertise!
I have spoken to 20,000 people over a period of the past two years, I have done radio and TV interviews, and I have worked one-on-one with literally thousands of children, adults and families over a period of twenty-five years as an educator, counselor and educational consultant. My Masters degree is in Educational Psychology, Counseling & Development. I developed programs for Portland State University on Breaking the Cycles of Failure with At-Risk Kids and Healing Today's Children? and Ourselves. I have had tremendous, measurable success with ALL children and adults in the family and corporate environments.

Children teach us exactly what we need to know.

I found, several years into my teaching career, that my methodology also works with the kids nobody wants - the at-risk kids. I did away with the "bell curve" and the "labels" put on the behaviorally and academically challenged kids by other teachers before me, and my students demonstrated increased academic performance that was measured by the Stanford Achievement Test results. As a sixth grade teacher, I inherited those kids in my classroom who had lost one to two years of academic growth with other educators. With my guidance, elimination of labels and my engaging instruction, they not only gained back what they lost, they gained additional years of academic growth on their tests.
The energy coming from most adults towards "difficult" children (who grow up to be difficult adults) is anger and fear, and they are getting a "mirror" reaction from their children and/or other adults in the home and workplace. The attitude, the condemnation and arrogance, the expectation of failure, the judgments and/or intense fears that they are projecting toward their children is resulting in the angry responses to what they "think" they are either asking for and/or demanding as parents. And this is exactly what many of the "experts" on the talk shows are still modeling for the American viewer: get in their face and tell them how bad they are and how they should be acting.

Children who are lippy, disruptive, rebellious or constantly in trouble are also mirroring something that's going on energetically within the parents' marriage and/or adult relationships. In the work environment, this is a mirror of what's happening with those people in leadership positions. If you are having chaos and anarchy, it is but a reflection of human resistance to fleshing out the real underlying issues, rather than putting band-aides on surface appearances .
It's not about accepting rebellious behavior in teens or difficult co-workers and spouses! We must actually stop settling for less than what we want, but to get there, we must address the fact that all behavior is a direct and instantaneous result of how we all treat each other.

We teach people how to treat us.

We are teaching children how to treat us by how we are treating them. It is the way we have been taught to parent by our parents and their parents before them. We as a society, at least historically, haven't spent a lot of time on introspective searches, questioning whether or not what our parents did with us worked, or not. Many in our society just "accept" that it must have been correct and continue to use it in every area of our lives. We are loyal to our parents. To keep what our parents did that worked and was healing and nurturing for us growing up, is a good thing. AND to question what didn't work, is also a good thing.
When we don't stop to question, we are essentially saying that it works, even when it's not working.
We have not questioned why it's not working; we just try harder at it! This carries over into our most intimate relationships. Let's face it, it's everywhere. It's in the corporate boardroom and in every workplace, it's in the home, it's in our schools, and the children are at the bottom rung. Never before in history have we had so many terrifying problems in our schools. The kids who get the guns and kill other kids are simply and painfully saying, "I can't stand the way you treat me and how you've labeled me, and I can't find anybody to help me out of this mess that I'm not even sure how I got into!"
Only the adults have the real authority and power to model, emulate and find new and healing ways of being in relationships with each other that can change what's happening in our relationships now and in our future generations.
A while back I watched a major talk show. It's what I do to keep up with what's being taught around the country. On this particular show they had an expert on to talk about "how to get a grip on your teen's lip." I feel the original intent of the show was excellent, but what occurred during the program was a great illustration of what's not working in relationship with our angry and rude adolescents and, each other.

We have a mentality in this society that, if we just try harder at what's not working, it will eventually work! The "expert" demonstrated why teenagers are rude. His attitude and name calling made him a "talking head," which is exactly what adolescents are either shutting down about, defiantly rebelling against, OR get this, modeling after the adults in their lives! I'm generally not invested in being critical of my colleagues, but I must tell you that his clear demonstration of how "not" to treat rude and angry adolescents deeply touched my soul and because of that, it compelled me to get this book written to explain to you, and all those whose lives you touch, what's "really" going on.

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.
Treat a person as if he were what he could be,
and he will become what he could and should be.
- Goethe

You see, it's not just about our kids. It's about how we treat each other all the way across the board. In work, in play, in competition, in our most intimate relationships with our spouses and our children, our lovers and friends.
We have not been looking at what the problem really is. We are making children, adolescents or the disagreeable adults in our lives: "the Enemy." I have scientific research that I will be sharing with you in this book that illustrates exactly how an attitude directly and instantly affects physiology. You will also learn exactly how to change negative attitudinal energy instantly and transform a negative to a positive. This explains, in a visual and concrete way, exactly what is happening energetically, and why we are not getting the results we say we want in relationships, when we don't deal with the cause of the problem first: the labels we put on people, and the attitudes that result.
My tremendously valuable techniques, simple remedies and the clear insights that I have to give you will prove themselves in your life, if you use them. AND they will take you to the "next level," for a kinder and more gentle world, so that we can be living examples of what humanity can be.

It is my greatest desire that this information bring you the guidance
you need to bless the lives of all those you touch.
May we all be able to do the thing that takes the courage
when needed and may we bring a new attitude of peace, love, harmony and good will to those we've been withholding from.

Chapter one